[McMi11ions]

I read a post that there wasn't enough going on here and people were only talking about vaginas (not that it really bothers me... i like vaginas as much as the next guy). But I thought I would share this...


I was leaving a WalMart on cold winter night. It was around 7:00, and since I was in a small upstate NY college town, there was no sunlight...ever... With my bag of Tostitos and salsa in one hand and a 12-pack of Blue in the other, I began to make my way outside.

I entered that little room inbetween the stoe and the outside (you know, the one where pump all the heat into it making it 1000 degrees...they keep shopping carts and stuff there...) and I passed by 2 men standing over a cart talking. I continued towards the exit, thoughts of beer dancing in my head.

Now, it's night time...dark outside...light in the room I am in. This means that I can't see outside...all the windows look pitch black (like being on the wrong side of a two way mirror)

Out of the darkness emerges a little girl. Couldn't be anymore than 4 years old. And she runs up to the door to come inside. But being 4, she didn't comprehend the concept of the "exit" door, as she patiently waited for it to open so she could run inside.

But it was too late. I had already stepped into the motion sensor. There was no turning back. I tried. That little girls face smiling at me and laughing through the glass door... just before it swung open, slamming her in the face and knocking her backwards 5 feet.

She sat there stunned momentarily...looking at me. For a second i thought everything was going to be ok. Then she looked at her dad (one of the two guys talking), then she looked at me. And screamed. Crying...screaming.

The men ran over. Slightly hysterical one said (i assume the father) "What happened?"

"I'm sorry...there...there was nothing i could do...the motion sens-"

The father looked at me, his daughter, the door... and figured out what happened. "Don't worry about it. It was an accident" he told me, then added "She had it comming."



Anyone else have "shinning moments" they would like to share?

[Jetsfan115]

I have one but it wasn’t me it was my friend. We were leaving school and when school let out all the front doors are usually unlocked but everyone was going out one door not the usual 2 so to get in front of everyone we went over to the other door and it was jammed or so my friend thought so he backed up and rammed himself into it and just smacked right into the door and fell right down. It was one of those doors where the lock is a small latch that goes into a hole on the bottom of the door. I lifted up the latch and opened the door and we walked out then other people started leaving the through that door while laughing.

[Jetme23]

When I was five I thought my mom was kidding when she said dont walk on the kitchen floor. Later that night, sitting in the hospital with my ankle nearly half off, crying, I realized she wasnt. Long story short, she had just washed the kitchen floor and I slipped and my foot went flying into the tip of the dishwasher. I had a babysitter watching me because my mom went and took a nap, the idiot put coffee powder on my foot making the situation worse.

[bobzero11]

coffee powder? thats some dumb shit... that sucks man, sorry to hear, but people without emergency care knowldege (and sometimes without common sense) do some stupid things... this is why i became emt certified so i could know what to do in such situations...

on the topic at hand i can't think of any stupid shit like that in my life, i just thought coffee powder of all things was pretty stupid

for the record i dont care about my number of posts as that had been brought up elsewhere so if this type of response bothers people lemme know ill try to tone it down

[Jetme23]

I think coffee beans was an old morrocan remedy. They used it to heal up wounds by stoping the bleading. Anyway, if you all want to see the scar thats still left I have a digitial camera.

[ellisjersey92]

a few years ago, two friends and i were at applebees with a bunch of people from our school. the applebees works seperate from the mall, but it's in a mall. well it was late at night and the mall was closing and the security guard was going around to all the doors closing them. we decided to sneak in for no reason, so we went in a door he hadnt locked yet on the other side of the mall. once we got in, we were walking around and looking for stores that might not have put the bar things down, and into management rooms and such. we came out of one room and we saw the security guard all the way down. he started chasing us and yelling, and we ran, unlocked a door and left. we called one of our friends a few minutes later and he said the security guard told him that we were going to be charged with breaking and entering and that he had called the cops. i guess he saw us with them beforehand outside applebees, because we dont know why he would have told them that. once we heard that, we decided to get off the property because they told us the security guard was coming around with his car. we ran behind a small strip mall which was closeby. as we were walking back there, there was this van sitting there in the middle. the back of the mall was an alley about 20 feet wide, with a fence with a huge hedge oposite the strip mall. well, my one friend said he wasnt going one step closer because of the van and he stopped. literally one second after he stopped, the door slid open and three men jumped out running. we were about 40 feet away and we turned around and didnt stop running for atleast a mile and a half to another friends house. it was one of the scariest things in my life...........looking back, it seems fun now, but i probably sh it myself 5 or 6 times that night.

[ukjet]

I was out on deployment a few years back and was running out a telephone link through a field, to our HQ tent. Halfway across the field I ran out of cable, so I went and got another reel.

I had to connect the two pieces together so I got out my Leatherman tool and tried stripping back the insulation. I couldn't get the coating off with the tool so I instinctively went to rip it off with my teeth....

I was unaware my friend had connected the far end of the cable to the junction box....BOOM ! I got 100 volts straight into my mouth ....knocked me on my ass.

My friend couldn't stop laughing for about 2 hours.

[LocoJet]

thats funny shit ukjet. i used to be an electrician and i've gotten hit a number of times but never in the mouth.

this is one when i was young. i dont even remember but this is what my dad tells me happened. i was 4 and my dad picked me up after pre school and i was kindof quiet so my dad asked me what happened at school that day. i said "one of my friends got in big trouble because he said the f word and had to take a timeout." my dad asked me "whats the f word?" i said "*beep*".

[LocoJet]

it beeped it out. i said a hole pretty much.

[ukjet]

ha !! yeah now THAT is funny !

[Maynard13]

Thats a great one LocoJet lollol