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SECRETS AND LIES NOTHING BUT SECRETS AND LIES!!
azjetfan Icon : (03 March 2015 - 01:10 PM) Ryan is not a Bozo he is a cartoon character.
Chaos Icon : (03 March 2015 - 01:15 PM) anyone know anything about CB Kareem Jackson?
Chaos Icon : (03 March 2015 - 01:15 PM) FA from Houston. Obvious Mac connection.
ganggreen2003 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 02:33 PM) NO TO MEVIS NO TO MEVIS
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 03:26 PM) FIRE MACCAGNAN
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 03:26 PM) FIRE BOWLES
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 03:26 PM) CONSTANT TURNOVER
azjetfan Icon : (03 March 2015 - 03:43 PM) I think we need to fire more people. Like Justin Beiber
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 04:22 PM) Kareem Jackson is a decent player, I would rather go elsewhere for CB though> He has been a streaky player, some bad seasons some good
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 06:23 PM) THE KNICKS
Chaos Icon : (03 March 2015 - 06:43 PM) @AdamSchefter: Filed to ESPN: Bills have notified LB Kiko Alonso he is going to be traded to Philadelphia for RB LeSean McCoy. Trade official next week.
Chaos Icon : (03 March 2015 - 06:43 PM) WOW. Rex is gearing up for ground and pound.
Chaos Icon : (03 March 2015 - 06:44 PM) Jets can sign Spiller now but they're going to need a new LB. Rex is gunning for David Harris.
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 07:44 PM) Jets should trade Harris to Minnesota for Minnesota for AP
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 07:44 PM) Throw in Ivory/Powell or a pick
ganggreen2003 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 07:45 PM) Damn they got Shady
ganggreen2003 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 07:45 PM) Do NOT give up Ivory
ganggreen2003 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 07:45 PM) Powell ok Ivory HELL NO
ganggreen2003 Icon : (03 March 2015 - 07:50 PM) Well that definitely opens the door for CJ Spiller to the JETS now that the Jills got Shady
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 05:12 AM) Spiller is a joke. 99 % of the time he gets tackled for a loss or a 1 or 2 yard gain maximum. He breaks a run here and there. he had one good year in his whole career. their is a reason he is a backup and not the starter. I suggest you guys that believe Spiller has anything to offer go through the play by play game logs. I did and he is horrendous.
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 05:14 AM) Spiller cannot break a tackle period. I broke down last years game logs of his runs in a thread last year. He isn't even a pass catching rb. Fred Jackson catches most of the running back passes.
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 05:20 AM) Unless Spiller comes tremendously cheap no thank you. Wouldn't pay more than a one year deal worth 1 million at most. All he has is speed. Not even on Sproles level. His stats are inflated. For instance he has 10 runs in a game and 9 of them are losses are or 1-2 yard runs. Then he breaks one on the outside for 40-70 yards. Not reliable at all. Even when he break one he is guaranteed a td
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 05:21 AM) Even in his 1200 yard rushing year he only had 6 tds rushing and 2 receiving
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 05:23 AM) Spiller is only valuable as a special teams player. Period By year 2010 ) tds rshng 1 rcvng 283 yards rshng
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 05:31 AM) meant 0 tds rushing in 2010, 2011 4 tds 561 yards rushing 2tds receiving, 2012 6tds 1244 rushing 2 tds receiving, 2013 2tds 933 yards rushing 0tds receiving, 2014 0tds 300 yards rushing 1td receiving.
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 05:41 AM) His stats look decent on paper but if you actually go through the game logs of his career like I did his stats are extremely inflated. For instance one game last year he had 10 attempts for 8 yards another 4 attempts for -4 yards, another 6 attempts for 19 yards, another 10 attempts for 25 yards.Another game he had 12 games for 69 yards but 47 of it was on one play. Point is he sucks as a running back. Who wants a rb that gets stopped 99% of the time and breaks one play fir a long run. We need reliable backs not a slim chance of him breaking one
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 08:06 AM) "NFL released its first 2015 League Year cap report to teams. Teams w/most room: 1) Jaguars $64.058M; 2) Jets $52.901; 3) Raiders $52.598M."
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 08:06 AM) #2 baby
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 08:07 AM) WE DID IT!
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 08:07 AM) thnx idzik
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (Yesterday, 08:09 AM) RE-HIRE IDZIK
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (Yesterday, 08:10 AM) Well in all fairness, when I think about the Jets I do think about number two
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (Yesterday, 08:30 AM) FIRE MACCAGNAN
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (Yesterday, 08:30 AM) The Jaguars hired John Idzik for his expertise in contract negotiating
Chaos Icon : (Yesterday, 08:36 AM) ppl are going to get paid this offseason.
Chaos Icon : (Yesterday, 08:36 AM) so many teams have space
Chaos Icon : (Yesterday, 08:39 AM) eagles have 48M in cap space. Chip is going to go HAM this offseason.
Chaos Icon : (Yesterday, 12:35 PM) @RapSheet: The #Bills have traded for Matt Cassel, the team announced.
Jetsfan115 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:43 PM) rex is gearing up his team
Jetsfan115 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:43 PM) a QB that won't turn it over. 2 stud Rbs for ground and pound and will now start building his defense
azjetfan Icon : (Yesterday, 01:49 PM) McCoys agent said the trade is not final and he hinted that he may not be willing to play there.
Chaos Icon : (Yesterday, 04:41 PM) @KristianRDyer: Source: If Marcus Mariota is at No. 6, Eagles will make trade with #Jets http://www.metro.us/...-mCQODxZ1xjBVA/ … via @metronewyork #NYJets
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (Yesterday, 05:18 PM) Jets bringing in Kendall Langford and CHris Canty for visits
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (Yesterday, 05:20 PM) Cassel blows
Jetsfan115 Icon : (Yesterday, 08:07 PM) I wouldn't mind trading down personally
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Official Joke Thread

#1 User is offline   silversword55 Icon

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Posted 19 July 2005 - 05:41 PM

Make this thread THE official jokes thread.

The rules are, make as many jokes for the Dolphins, Pats, Bills, Giants and Cowboys as you can. Even if it's made up.

Get it?

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#2 User is offline   vilmatime51 Icon

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Posted 19 July 2005 - 06:03 PM

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Patriots fan, a Dolphins fan, a Bills fan, and a Jets fan. They had been arguing all the
way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Bills fan proclaimed to the other three... "This is for the Buffolo Bills!" and promptly threw himself off
the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Bills fan, the Dolphins fan jumped up and said... "This is for the Miami Dolphins!" and then threw himself off the mountain, again as a form of sacrifice.

Refusing to be outdone by the Bill and Dolphin fans, the Jets fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, "This is for the New York Jets!" and without hesitation, pushed the New England Patriots fan off the mountain.



biggrin.gif Pretty corny......Oh Well!!! icon_idea.gif
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"Believe deep down inside that you're destined to do great things"- Joe Paterno
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#3 User is offline   JetsOhFive Icon

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Posted 19 July 2005 - 06:20 PM

QUOTE (vilmatime51 @ Jul 19 2005, 06:38 PM)
Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Patriots fan, a Dolphins fan, a Bills fan, and a Jets fan. They had been arguing all the
way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Bills fan proclaimed to the other three... "This is for the Buffolo Bills!" and promptly threw himself off
the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Bills fan, the Dolphins fan jumped up and said... "This is for the Miami Dolphins!" and then threw himself off the mountain, again as a form of sacrifice.

Refusing to be outdone by the Bill and Dolphin fans, the Jets fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, "This is for the New York Jets!" and without hesitation, pushed the New England Patriots fan off the mountain.

biggrin.gif Pretty corny......Oh Well!!!  icon_idea.gif

I rather throw the Dolphins fan off, but hey as long as he died thats good enough for me. hysterical.gif fish.gif icon_idea.gif icon_question.gif
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#4 User is offline   S-Dubb Icon

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Posted 19 July 2005 - 06:30 PM

QUOTE (vilmatime51 @ Jul 19 2005, 06:38 PM)
Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Patriots fan, a Dolphins fan, a Bills fan, and a Jets fan. They had been arguing all the
way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Bills fan proclaimed to the other three... "This is for the Buffolo Bills!" and promptly threw himself off
the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Bills fan, the Dolphins fan jumped up and said... "This is for the Miami Dolphins!" and then threw himself off the mountain, again as a form of sacrifice.

Refusing to be outdone by the Bill and Dolphin fans, the Jets fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, "This is for the New York Jets!" and without hesitation, pushed the New England Patriots fan off the mountain.

biggrin.gif Pretty corny......Oh Well!!!  icon_idea.gif

lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif
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#5 User is offline   blk_orion Icon

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Posted 19 July 2005 - 06:30 PM

QUOTE (JetsOhFive @ Jul 19 2005, 07:55 PM)
I rather throw the Dolphins fan off, but hey as long as he died thats good enough for me. hysterical.gif  fish.gif  icon_idea.gif  icon_question.gif

Wasn't corny to me.... icon_idea.gif
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#6 User is offline   CrazyHorseDave Icon

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Posted 19 July 2005 - 07:13 PM

hope I dont screw this up ....

one day at school little Billy's teacher took a survey of the kids in the class

"Children .. just for fun Id like to see what football teams all of you like"

so when she asked little Billy "What team do you like?"

Billy replied "I like the New York Jets"

"Why?" asked the teacher

"Because my parents are Jets fans"

"That's silly .. if you're Daddy was a thief and you're mother was a prostitue .. would you be either of those?"

"No" Billy replied "I would be a Raiders fan"

sterb191.gif
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#7 User is offline   green1 Icon

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Posted 19 July 2005 - 11:27 PM

Good one Dave!! yahoo.gif Heres another that I hope you like.
How many Raider fans does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
15
1 to make the dough, and 14 to peel the smarties!
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#8 User is offline   HurricaneJet32 Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 08:22 AM

I've got one...


Can we put this in the man show forum!!!???
WTF.gif
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#9 User is offline   Chadforpresidentin08 Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 08:47 AM

Yes, we should go into the Man Show with this, but Vilma and Dave those were good, I have one but is has nothing to do with football.
"You ask, what is our aim?... It is victory, victory at all cost" Winston Churchill.
Member since March 25, 2005.
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#10 User is offline   LeonhardSkynyrd36 Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 08:49 AM

i got one ok ready









Ricky Williams!!!!!
ColesReturns87
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#11 User is offline   silversword55 Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 08:51 AM

Here's one

Boy

I

Love

Losing

Superbowls

sterb191.gif icon_question.gif

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#12 User is offline   smallguy Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 09:07 AM

This is kinda of a old one but.......

2 kids are playing Hockey in Central park. Soon a wilded dog comes after then. One of them gets his hockey stick and breaks the dogs neck. A reporter who saw what happened and started interviewing the boy. The reporter said " The title will be little yankee fan saves boy's life." The boy said " I am not a yankee fan." The reporter said " oh, sorry, I just figuered that you where a yankee fan."Then the reporter said " little Jets fan saves boy's life." The boy saids " I am not a jets fan." Then the reporter said " Then what are you???" The boy said " I am a dolphins fan." The reporter tears out the page and makes a new title " Little bastards kills beloved family pet."
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#13 User is offline   JetsOhFive Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 01:00 PM

QUOTE (ColesReturns87 @ Jul 20 2005, 09:24 AM)
i got one ok ready
Ricky Williams!!!!!

Can you imagine just how many jokes there are actually going to be about him. I mean even when a huddle takes too long, some ones going to say "Well the Dolphins are taking a while to call a play, they must be passing a joint around." Its gonna be great. hysterical.gif
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#14 User is offline   CrazyHorseDave Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 03:43 PM

QUOTE (HurricaneJet32 @ Jul 20 2005, 09:57 AM)
I've got one...
Can we put this in the man show forum!!!???
WTF.gif



I thought about it .. but since the jokes were intended to be football related .. I left it in here

QUOTE (ChadPenningtonrulez#10 @ Jul 19 2005, 07:16 PM)
Make this thread THE official jokes thread.

The rules are, make as many jokes for the Dolphins, Pats, Bills, Giants and Cowboys as you can. Even if it's made up.

Get it?

0

#15 User is offline   gmany3k Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 04:17 PM

BREAKING THE RULES ?????HAHA. and a child shall lead them. but dave you are not a child............pull down your pants and hit yourself with a switch. crazy.gif
great stuff laughed my butt off.
21ST CENTURY NEW YORK STATE OF MIND ."REST IN PEACE NIGHT OWL TOM"Use Caution when reading my comments>.Posted Image
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#16 User is offline   CrazyHorseDave Icon

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 05:40 PM

QUOTE (gmany3k @ Jul 20 2005, 05:52 PM)
BREAKING THE RULES ?????HAHA. and a child shall lead them. but dave you are not a child............pull down your pants and hit yourself with a switch. crazy.gif
great stuff laughed my butt off.



who showed you those pictures!?!?!? bullshit.gif
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#17 User is offline   silversword55 Icon

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Posted 30 August 2005 - 09:31 PM

An elementary teacher starts a new job at a school in Miami and trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she's a Dolphins fan.
She asks the class to raise their hands if they, too, are Dolphins fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher
looks a little surprised and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Dolphins fan," she replied.
The teacher asked: "Well, if you're not a Dolphins fan, then who do you support?"
"I'm a Jet fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher, now becoming interested in the lone dissenter asks,"Mary, why are you a Jet fan?"
"Because my mom and dad are from New York, my mom is an Jet fan and my
dad is a Jet fan, so I'm a Jet fan, too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that's not
necessarily a reason for you to be a Jets fan. You don't have to be just
like your parents all of the time.
What if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and a car
thief, what would you be then?"
Mary said, "I'd be a Patriots fan."

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#18 User is offline   S-Dubb Icon

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Posted 30 August 2005 - 09:46 PM

I know this guy just didn't go back and find this god damn topic from like months ago and bring it back to the front. Man your an idiot.
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#19 User is offline   JetsOhFive Icon

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Posted 30 August 2005 - 09:51 PM

QUOTE (sdubb6 @ Aug 30 2005, 10:21 PM)
I know this guy just didn't go back and find this god damn topic from like months ago and bring it back to the front. Man your an idiot.

Easy easy. He had a joke, he remember he made a topic about it and he decided to add to it.
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#20 User is offline   JetsOhFive Icon

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Posted 30 August 2005 - 09:53 PM

I'm sending this to the Man Show forum.
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