NYJetsFan.com Forums: Brian Shotty Resume - NYJetsFan.com Forums

Jump to content

Toggle shoutbox NYJETSFAN BANTER

Jets lose by 1 to pats possibly Rex's last home game
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:38 PM) business is slow and I got other things to worry about
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 07:38 PM) Game not over yet
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:38 PM) but I'm still cool as a cucumber
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 07:39 PM) Who declared cucumbers cool
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:40 PM) cucumbers are cool cause I said so
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 07:41 PM) And you said so because you're cool as a cucumber
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 07:41 PM) That was a stupid penalty
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:41 PM) yup
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:41 PM) I'm mad chill
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 07:42 PM) he got hammered
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:42 PM) I'm not as cool as the other side of the pillow though cause that is gay as f***
ROBJETS Icon : (Yesterday, 07:43 PM) So what are you saying? You ride cucumbers?
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:44 PM) nope but cucumbers are great on sandwiches and sandwiches are f***ing awesome
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:45 PM) and they can be fermented and become pickles which is always great on sandwiches and I already said it sandwiches are f***ing awesome
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 07:46 PM) He's got a point
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:47 PM) of course I do I'm moderator material
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 07:47 PM) Where's the studs and duds thread
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:48 PM) I bring shit to the table that noone else does cause well I'm f***ing awesome just like sandwiches
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:48 PM) there were no studs
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:48 PM) and the duds would be so long to list I'd still be typing if I had started that thread
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 07:49 PM) but at least the bills lost to the lowly raiders
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 07:52 PM) Ok im trying to get this
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 07:52 PM) the jets have gone up against all total teams with a record of 114-110
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 07:52 PM) the Jags have gone up against 114-109-1
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 07:53 PM) if Denver wins. that's 115-110 against us and 114-110-1 against the Jags
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 07:54 PM) How do they have the harder Schedule strength??
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 07:56 PM) that's if Denver wins tomorrow
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 08:11 PM) Is it me or is Tony Dungy awkward looking when he tries to smile and stares straight into the camera while doing the Football Night in America broadcast
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:17 PM) the job the GM in Arizona has done with dealing with all those injuries this season is something I would love to emulate for the JETS
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:17 PM) finding talent in places you don't expect
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:17 PM) but instead we get a pencil pusher
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:17 PM) who puts us in great position cap wise but can't evaluate talent for shit
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:18 PM) and makes horrible draft picks
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:18 PM) and just wasted every single JETS fans time for the past 6 months
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:18 PM) and next monday that shit comes to an end
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:18 PM) bye bye idzik bye bye rex dueces geno
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:19 PM) Fire Idzik Fire Rex Cut Geno
ganggreen2003 Icon : (Yesterday, 09:23 PM) Would you make a trade to get Larry Fitzgerald?
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 11:16 PM) Beastmode
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 11:16 PM) wow
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 11:21 PM) "Hold ma diiiiiiickkkkkk"
-lynch
a1elbow2.0 Icon : (Today, 12:58 AM) Someone needs to save 2003s comments today for future generations
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Today, 10:59 AM) SUCK FOR THE DUCK
Chaos Icon : (Today, 11:37 AM) another potential HC name - Sean Payton. There is a possibility that the Saints decide it's time for a change. Unlikely but if it happens and he's out there....
azjetfan Icon : (Today, 06:50 PM) Payton is not going anywhere.
Resize Shouts Area

Page 1 of 1

Brian Shotty Resume

#1 User is offline   triple3s Icon

  • Line Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 863
  • Joined: 11-April 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:48 PM

I don't know if anyone posted this but i thought it was hilarious.

http://turnonthejets...heimers-resume/

I don't know how to post it so it is shown in the forum so theres the link




Quote

LEAKED: Brian Schottenheimer’s Resume
January 6th, 2012 | by Joe Caporoso | Posted Image

Due to my terrific inside sources around the New York Jets organization, I have been able to acquire a copy of the resume Brian Schottenheimer is using on his head coaching interviews.

Overview of Strengths

  • Ability to coach a mediocre offense, with either a competent veteran (Chad Pennington), a top ten draft pick (Mark Sanchez), or a future Hall of Famer (Brett Favre) at quarterback.
  • Can receive constant praise for innovation due to confusing calls and despite me never breaking tendencies.
  • Can get away with calling 67 passes in a run first offense, without my head coach even noticing.
  • My offense allows for 75% of our fans to call out the play before it is ran.
Offensive Philosophy

  • On every single play, split my fullback out in the slot and motion him into fullback even though I know everybody knows he isn’t staying in the slot and will motion in.
  • Also sub in a specific receiver who is bigger and can block so I can motion him in towards the formation on all running plays.
  • Sub out four or five players on every play, we need a specific group to throw with and a specific group to run with.
  • Use all of these motions and subbing to confuse my offense, so we can have multiple false start penalties and delay of games, along with blowing timeouts frequently.
  • Never, ever throw the football down the field outside the hashes. The entire game takes place within 5 yards of the quarterback, inside of the hash marks.
  • Ignore the running game when it is working. Ignore the passing game when it is working.
  • Run stretch plays with my slowest running back in 2nd and short to set up 3 and 5.
  • Run 4 yard crossing routes on 3rd and 9.
  • Do not use explosive players enough – see Leon Washington, Joe McKnight.
Highlights

  • Needed my team to call timeout before the first play of the game, even though we had the first play scripted all week.
  • Dropped Mark Sanchez back 67 times against the New York Giants pass rush, when we were averaging 5 yards per carry.
  • Played Matthew Mulligan 25 snaps per game for an entire season.
Favorite Plays

  • Shotgun 4-wide, throw a 4 yard hook route to the tight end, usually on 3rd and long.
  • Motion receiver towards the formation and run toss, usually for a 3 or 4 yard loss.
  • Play action boot on 2nd and short out of the same formation, where the quarterback only has the option to throw to the tight end in the flat.
  • Slant. Slant. Slant.
Standard Drives

  • 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 1 yard gain.
  • 2nd and 9 – Throw 4 yard hook route to tight end.
  • 3rd and 5 – Throw 3 yard crossing route.
  • 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 7 yard gain.
  • 2nd and 3 – Go shotgun, get the quarterback sacked.
  • 3rd and 12 – Draw or check down to running back.
  • 1st and 10 – Throw slant for 8 yards
  • 2nd and 2 – Play action boot, quarterback rolls out, throws incompletion.
  • 3rd and 2 – Shotgun, sack or incompletion.

0

#2 User is offline   Jetsfan0099 Icon

  • Assistant Head Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Moderator
  • Posts: 17,041
  • Joined: 30-July 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New Jersey

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:52 PM

haha good find
Posted Image
0

#3 User is offline   SecondHandJets Icon

  • Assistant Head Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,489
  • Joined: 28-November 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:53 PM

That's awesome
0

#4 User is offline   S-Dubb Icon

  • 2008 Best Insider Award
  • Icon
  • View blog
  • Group: Assistant Admin
  • Posts: 31,145
  • Joined: 02-May 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:---
  • Interests:Hardcore Jets & Knicks fan - Gym rat - health and nutrition - family man and proud father.

    Twitter: @NYJETSFANCOM

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:56 PM

It should be Sanchez & Schotty resume.
0

#5 User is offline   triple3s Icon

  • Line Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 863
  • Joined: 11-April 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:59 PM

View PostS-Dubb, on 06 January 2012 - 01:56 PM, said:

It should be Sanchez & Schotty resume.


lol. nah this includes years with Penny and Farve. Looking at this made me realize just how bad he is and how true EVERYTHING in this article is. i love the "split fullback out in slot" lmao. I can't wait to get a new OC.
0

#6 User is offline   JSOTF Icon

  • LB Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,330
  • Joined: 30-March 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:El Paso

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 04:19 PM

this made my day!!!!!
0

#7 User is online   santana Icon

  • I'm batman
  • Icon
  • Group: Admin
  • Posts: 7,892
  • Joined: 03-June 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Washington DC
  • Interests:Keeping this place from breaking... and titties.

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 04:47 PM

Slant Slant Slant Slant*

*per-requisite qb too short to see over line
Nyjetsfan.com Jets Fan Forum and Chat
0

#8 User is offline   jetfan4life12 Icon

  • LB Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,131
  • Joined: 04-April 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Boca Raton, FL

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 07 January 2012 - 06:23 PM

View Posttriple3s, on 06 January 2012 - 01:48 PM, said:

I don't know if anyone posted this but i thought it was hilarious.

http://turnonthejets...heimers-resume/

I don't know how to post it so it is shown in the forum so theres the link





Too bad its true but so damn funny!!
0

#9 User is offline   gmany3k Icon

  • Old Timer
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 8,300
  • Joined: 31-March 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:AUSTIN,TX MALE member 2000-01

  • NFL Team:

Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:36 PM

I can balance the amount of running plays Vs passing plays to a fault that it is always a great stat for me on the tv screen.
21ST CENTURY NEW YORK STATE OF MIND ."REST IN PEACE NIGHT OWL TOM"Use Caution when reading my comments>.Posted Image
0

Page 1 of 1


Fast Reply

  

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users