NYJetsFan.com Forums: Brian Shotty Resume - NYJetsFan.com Forums

Jump to content

Toggle shoutbox NYJETSFAN BANTER

Jets 0-2 vs bills this year. Does Rex Ryan survive the year?
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (Today, 04:15 PM) #PARADEFORRAUL
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:15 PM) dont think we'll get the result we need
santana Icon : (Today, 04:15 PM) RAUL BEST EVER!!
santana Icon : (Today, 04:15 PM) this messi guy pfff not even a top lad
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:16 PM) 27 and the all time leading goal scorer in european cup and la liga history... crazy
santana Icon : (Today, 04:17 PM) raul ny cosmos hype is real!!... crazy
santana Icon : (Today, 04:18 PM) I want nasri to bite neuer
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:28 PM) Agueroooooooo
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:28 PM) Xabi at faulttttt
santana Icon : (Today, 04:30 PM) SPEEEEED
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:33 PM) KUUUUUNNNNN
santana Icon : (Today, 04:33 PM) I like zabaleta a lot but hes such a dope haha
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:33 PM) what a f***ing player
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:34 PM) unbelievable
santana Icon : (Today, 04:34 PM) Yeah
santana Icon : (Today, 04:34 PM) its decided city should be renamed to Aguero and friends
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:35 PM) haha yeah zaba looks like a player who should of played 15 years ago when tackles like that were deemed good
santana Icon : (Today, 04:35 PM) jeez
santana Icon : (Today, 04:35 PM) mistakes by boateng and xabi
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:36 PM) bayern exhausted from working with 10 men
santana Icon : (Today, 04:36 PM) aguero the long con
santana Icon : (Today, 04:36 PM) aguero isnt exhausted though
santana Icon : (Today, 04:37 PM) OP as fuck
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:37 PM) Pep will be fuming
santana Icon : (Today, 04:38 PM) no more fun practices for bayern
santana Icon : (Today, 04:38 PM) carrying team mates around and skipping
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:38 PM) all eyes on tomorrow. Liverpool don't get a result and Rodgers seat is on fire
santana Icon : (Today, 04:39 PM) what
santana Icon : (Today, 04:39 PM) I thought I just read that liverpool is sticking with him
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:41 PM) they will, atleast until january... but if we do not get a result tomorrow, it'll go down hill even faster
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:41 PM) he won't survive the season if he doesnt figure it out
santana Icon : (Today, 04:42 PM) moyes to liverpool confirmed!
santana Icon : (Today, 04:43 PM) bayern two bad passes one bad tackle today punished by aguero
santana Icon : (Today, 04:43 PM) otherwise city looked rather crapola
Jetsman05 Icon : (Today, 04:47 PM) moyesy coaching in your favorite league now
santana Icon : (Today, 04:50 PM) yeah i saw that he was at real sociedad
santana Icon : (Today, 04:51 PM) http://gfycat.com/MilkyMajesticDingo
santana Icon : (Today, 04:52 PM) also very casual
santana Icon : (Today, 04:52 PM) boca represent
santana Icon : (Today, 05:13 PM) http://gfycat.com/Of...ingAmazonparrot
santana Icon : (Today, 05:13 PM) that is the most raul goal i have ever seen
azjetfan Icon : (Today, 06:29 PM) What's our wish list for HC next year?
santana Icon : (Today, 06:37 PM) BILL LAZOR
azjetfan Icon : (Today, 07:41 PM) Why?
santana Icon : (Today, 08:09 PM) he worked with chip kelly and vick on the eagles. and has a cool name
Resize Shouts Area

Page 1 of 1

Brian Shotty Resume

#1 User is offline   triple3s Icon

  • Line Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 863
  • Joined: 11-April 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:48 PM

I don't know if anyone posted this but i thought it was hilarious.

http://turnonthejets...heimers-resume/

I don't know how to post it so it is shown in the forum so theres the link




Quote

LEAKED: Brian Schottenheimer’s Resume
January 6th, 2012 | by Joe Caporoso | Posted Image

Due to my terrific inside sources around the New York Jets organization, I have been able to acquire a copy of the resume Brian Schottenheimer is using on his head coaching interviews.

Overview of Strengths

  • Ability to coach a mediocre offense, with either a competent veteran (Chad Pennington), a top ten draft pick (Mark Sanchez), or a future Hall of Famer (Brett Favre) at quarterback.
  • Can receive constant praise for innovation due to confusing calls and despite me never breaking tendencies.
  • Can get away with calling 67 passes in a run first offense, without my head coach even noticing.
  • My offense allows for 75% of our fans to call out the play before it is ran.
Offensive Philosophy

  • On every single play, split my fullback out in the slot and motion him into fullback even though I know everybody knows he isn’t staying in the slot and will motion in.
  • Also sub in a specific receiver who is bigger and can block so I can motion him in towards the formation on all running plays.
  • Sub out four or five players on every play, we need a specific group to throw with and a specific group to run with.
  • Use all of these motions and subbing to confuse my offense, so we can have multiple false start penalties and delay of games, along with blowing timeouts frequently.
  • Never, ever throw the football down the field outside the hashes. The entire game takes place within 5 yards of the quarterback, inside of the hash marks.
  • Ignore the running game when it is working. Ignore the passing game when it is working.
  • Run stretch plays with my slowest running back in 2nd and short to set up 3 and 5.
  • Run 4 yard crossing routes on 3rd and 9.
  • Do not use explosive players enough – see Leon Washington, Joe McKnight.
Highlights

  • Needed my team to call timeout before the first play of the game, even though we had the first play scripted all week.
  • Dropped Mark Sanchez back 67 times against the New York Giants pass rush, when we were averaging 5 yards per carry.
  • Played Matthew Mulligan 25 snaps per game for an entire season.
Favorite Plays

  • Shotgun 4-wide, throw a 4 yard hook route to the tight end, usually on 3rd and long.
  • Motion receiver towards the formation and run toss, usually for a 3 or 4 yard loss.
  • Play action boot on 2nd and short out of the same formation, where the quarterback only has the option to throw to the tight end in the flat.
  • Slant. Slant. Slant.
Standard Drives

  • 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 1 yard gain.
  • 2nd and 9 – Throw 4 yard hook route to tight end.
  • 3rd and 5 – Throw 3 yard crossing route.
  • 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 7 yard gain.
  • 2nd and 3 – Go shotgun, get the quarterback sacked.
  • 3rd and 12 – Draw or check down to running back.
  • 1st and 10 – Throw slant for 8 yards
  • 2nd and 2 – Play action boot, quarterback rolls out, throws incompletion.
  • 3rd and 2 – Shotgun, sack or incompletion.

0

#2 User is offline   Jetsfan0099 Icon

  • Assistant Head Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Moderator
  • Posts: 17,030
  • Joined: 30-July 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New Jersey

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:52 PM

haha good find
Posted Image
0

#3 User is offline   SecondHandJets Icon

  • Assistant Head Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,489
  • Joined: 28-November 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:53 PM

That's awesome
0

#4 User is offline   S-Dubb Icon

  • 2008 Best Insider Award
  • Icon
  • View blog
  • Group: Assistant Admin
  • Posts: 31,145
  • Joined: 02-May 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:---
  • Interests:Hardcore Jets & Knicks fan - Gym rat - health and nutrition - family man and proud father.

    Twitter: @NYJETSFANCOM

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:56 PM

It should be Sanchez & Schotty resume.
0

#5 User is offline   triple3s Icon

  • Line Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 863
  • Joined: 11-April 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:59 PM

View PostS-Dubb, on 06 January 2012 - 01:56 PM, said:

It should be Sanchez & Schotty resume.


lol. nah this includes years with Penny and Farve. Looking at this made me realize just how bad he is and how true EVERYTHING in this article is. i love the "split fullback out in slot" lmao. I can't wait to get a new OC.
0

#6 User is offline   JSOTF Icon

  • LB Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,329
  • Joined: 30-March 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:El Paso

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 04:19 PM

this made my day!!!!!
0

#7 User is online   santana Icon

  • I'm batman
  • Icon
  • Group: Admin
  • Posts: 7,871
  • Joined: 03-June 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Washington DC
  • Interests:Keeping this place from breaking... and titties.

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 04:47 PM

Slant Slant Slant Slant*

*per-requisite qb too short to see over line
Nyjetsfan.com Jets Fan Forum and Chat
0

#8 User is offline   jetfan4life12 Icon

  • LB Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,112
  • Joined: 04-April 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Boca Raton, FL

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 07 January 2012 - 06:23 PM

View Posttriple3s, on 06 January 2012 - 01:48 PM, said:

I don't know if anyone posted this but i thought it was hilarious.

http://turnonthejets...heimers-resume/

I don't know how to post it so it is shown in the forum so theres the link





Too bad its true but so damn funny!!
0

#9 User is offline   gmany3k Icon

  • Old Timer
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 8,298
  • Joined: 31-March 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:AUSTIN,TX MALE member 2000-01

  • NFL Team:

Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:36 PM

I can balance the amount of running plays Vs passing plays to a fault that it is always a great stat for me on the tv screen.
21ST CENTURY NEW YORK STATE OF MIND ."REST IN PEACE NIGHT OWL TOM"Use Caution when reading my comments>.Posted Image
0

Page 1 of 1


Fast Reply

  

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users