NYJetsFan.com Forums: Brian Shotty Resume - NYJetsFan.com Forums

Jump to content

Toggle shoutbox NYJETSFAN BANTER

Jets vs Bills this weekend... Is this an easy game yet?
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:45 PM) or perhaps the real madrid in dark green :D
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:45 PM) never know with the Anfield crowd but i don't really like our chances today
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:46 PM) although they are weak in defense and keeper
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:48 PM) is mignolet in?
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:48 PM) hes been getting a lot of flak
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:48 PM) countinho was nice vs qpr though
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:48 PM) yeah Migs is in
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:49 PM) Migs great shot stopper but awful coming off his line, awful distro and awful in the air
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:49 PM) Phil has been hit or miss all season... when he's on, he's special
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:49 PM) I think i saw some breakdown that he just runs out to far and then keeps his hands way too far down
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:50 PM) Balotelli and Sterling are going to have to be incredible
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:50 PM) yeah he's really poor at coming out, timing, all of it
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:50 PM) but as a shot stopper hes incredible
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:50 PM) Ramos is out i believe
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:51 PM) I like varane but hes doubtful also
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:51 PM) yeah Pepe and Varane at the back for Madrid
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:51 PM) ITS GONNA BE GUD 05
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:51 PM) Arbeloa(LFC former player) and Marcelo
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:51 PM) nervous
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:52 PM) i gotta shower then i'm running down to the bar
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:52 PM) Ronaldo rarely performed vs us at United
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:52 PM) enjoy it
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:53 PM) you would like my sanctuary here in nola
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:53 PM) they put the megamix on for me on the large screen
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:53 PM) then i get all the individual screens with the separate games
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:54 PM) ill be around on the ipad for the TOP BANTZ 05
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:54 PM) i'm the only fool there drinking on tuesday/wednesday afternoons
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:55 PM) I'd knuckle up next to ya buddy. Although I do prefer being alone for LFC haha
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 12:55 PM) that sounds like a solid spot
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 01:02 PM) yeah i feel that i thought more people would make it better but during the wc it filled up with filthy casuals
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 01:03 PM) dont touch me casual! and i ran out of there
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 01:55 PM) http://i.imgur.com/cMQ53OF.jpg
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (Yesterday, 03:52 PM) It's so lovely to see you two getting along
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (Yesterday, 03:52 PM) Warms my heart
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 04:03 PM) yeah but we both decided that we hate you
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 04:03 PM) KILL YO SELF
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (Yesterday, 05:58 PM) 05 loves me
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (Yesterday, 05:58 PM) I'm delightful
Jetsman05 Icon : (Yesterday, 05:59 PM) fact
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 07:18 PM) Yeah well titties
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 07:18 PM) HALA Madrid
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 07:18 PM) Big titties at that
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 07:20 PM) http://gfycat.com/Co...ulMessyHorsefly
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (Today, 09:43 AM) Should I start Rivers tonight or Brady on Sunday?
Jetsfan115 Icon : (Today, 10:48 AM) rivers
Resize Shouts Area

Page 1 of 1

Brian Shotty Resume

#1 User is offline   triple3s Icon

  • Line Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 863
  • Joined: 11-April 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:48 PM

I don't know if anyone posted this but i thought it was hilarious.

http://turnonthejets...heimers-resume/

I don't know how to post it so it is shown in the forum so theres the link




Quote

LEAKED: Brian Schottenheimer’s Resume
January 6th, 2012 | by Joe Caporoso | Posted Image

Due to my terrific inside sources around the New York Jets organization, I have been able to acquire a copy of the resume Brian Schottenheimer is using on his head coaching interviews.

Overview of Strengths

  • Ability to coach a mediocre offense, with either a competent veteran (Chad Pennington), a top ten draft pick (Mark Sanchez), or a future Hall of Famer (Brett Favre) at quarterback.
  • Can receive constant praise for innovation due to confusing calls and despite me never breaking tendencies.
  • Can get away with calling 67 passes in a run first offense, without my head coach even noticing.
  • My offense allows for 75% of our fans to call out the play before it is ran.
Offensive Philosophy

  • On every single play, split my fullback out in the slot and motion him into fullback even though I know everybody knows he isn’t staying in the slot and will motion in.
  • Also sub in a specific receiver who is bigger and can block so I can motion him in towards the formation on all running plays.
  • Sub out four or five players on every play, we need a specific group to throw with and a specific group to run with.
  • Use all of these motions and subbing to confuse my offense, so we can have multiple false start penalties and delay of games, along with blowing timeouts frequently.
  • Never, ever throw the football down the field outside the hashes. The entire game takes place within 5 yards of the quarterback, inside of the hash marks.
  • Ignore the running game when it is working. Ignore the passing game when it is working.
  • Run stretch plays with my slowest running back in 2nd and short to set up 3 and 5.
  • Run 4 yard crossing routes on 3rd and 9.
  • Do not use explosive players enough – see Leon Washington, Joe McKnight.
Highlights

  • Needed my team to call timeout before the first play of the game, even though we had the first play scripted all week.
  • Dropped Mark Sanchez back 67 times against the New York Giants pass rush, when we were averaging 5 yards per carry.
  • Played Matthew Mulligan 25 snaps per game for an entire season.
Favorite Plays

  • Shotgun 4-wide, throw a 4 yard hook route to the tight end, usually on 3rd and long.
  • Motion receiver towards the formation and run toss, usually for a 3 or 4 yard loss.
  • Play action boot on 2nd and short out of the same formation, where the quarterback only has the option to throw to the tight end in the flat.
  • Slant. Slant. Slant.
Standard Drives

  • 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 1 yard gain.
  • 2nd and 9 – Throw 4 yard hook route to tight end.
  • 3rd and 5 – Throw 3 yard crossing route.
  • 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 7 yard gain.
  • 2nd and 3 – Go shotgun, get the quarterback sacked.
  • 3rd and 12 – Draw or check down to running back.
  • 1st and 10 – Throw slant for 8 yards
  • 2nd and 2 – Play action boot, quarterback rolls out, throws incompletion.
  • 3rd and 2 – Shotgun, sack or incompletion.

0

#2 User is offline   Jetsfan0099 Icon

  • Assistant Head Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Moderator
  • Posts: 17,015
  • Joined: 30-July 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New Jersey

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:52 PM

haha good find
Posted Image
0

#3 User is offline   SecondHandJets Icon

  • Assistant Head Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,488
  • Joined: 28-November 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:53 PM

That's awesome
0

#4 User is offline   S-Dubb Icon

  • 2008 Best Insider Award
  • Icon
  • View blog
  • Group: Assistant Admin
  • Posts: 31,145
  • Joined: 02-May 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:---
  • Interests:Hardcore Jets & Knicks fan - Gym rat - health and nutrition - family man and proud father.

    Twitter: @NYJETSFANCOM

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:56 PM

It should be Sanchez & Schotty resume.
0

#5 User is offline   triple3s Icon

  • Line Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 863
  • Joined: 11-April 05
  • Gender:Male

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 01:59 PM

View PostS-Dubb, on 06 January 2012 - 01:56 PM, said:

It should be Sanchez & Schotty resume.


lol. nah this includes years with Penny and Farve. Looking at this made me realize just how bad he is and how true EVERYTHING in this article is. i love the "split fullback out in slot" lmao. I can't wait to get a new OC.
0

#6 User is offline   JSOTF Icon

  • LB Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,328
  • Joined: 30-March 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:El Paso

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 04:19 PM

this made my day!!!!!
0

#7 User is offline   santana Icon

  • I'm batman
  • Icon
  • Group: Admin
  • Posts: 7,830
  • Joined: 03-June 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Washington DC
  • Interests:Keeping this place from breaking... and titties.

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 06 January 2012 - 04:47 PM

Slant Slant Slant Slant*

*per-requisite qb too short to see over line
Nyjetsfan.com Jets Fan Forum and Chat
0

#8 User is offline   jetfan4life12 Icon

  • LB Coach
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,097
  • Joined: 04-April 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Boca Raton, FL

  • NFL Team:

  • MLB:

Posted 07 January 2012 - 06:23 PM

View Posttriple3s, on 06 January 2012 - 01:48 PM, said:

I don't know if anyone posted this but i thought it was hilarious.

http://turnonthejets...heimers-resume/

I don't know how to post it so it is shown in the forum so theres the link





Too bad its true but so damn funny!!
0

#9 User is offline   gmany3k Icon

  • Old Timer
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 8,298
  • Joined: 31-March 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:AUSTIN,TX MALE member 2000-01

  • NFL Team:

Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:36 PM

I can balance the amount of running plays Vs passing plays to a fault that it is always a great stat for me on the tv screen.
21ST CENTURY NEW YORK STATE OF MIND ."REST IN PEACE NIGHT OWL TOM"Use Caution when reading my comments>.Posted Image
0

Page 1 of 1


Fast Reply

  

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users