[santana]

Step 1. Be an American getting into soccer.
Step 2. Feel the need to support a Premiership team.
Step 3. Make your decision:
Manchester United: Too mainstream, like a new NBA fan supporting the lakers.
Man City: People will call you a 'glory hunter'
Chelsea: You just missed the window of opportunity to avoid the same problem as above.
Liverpool: Native fans will fucking hate you. If you haven't supported Liverpool for at least a hundred-and-twelve years, you might as well just kill yourself now.
Newcastle: You've had that ale before and it was alright, but you will be more disappointed than not.
Arsenal: Not too good, but not atrociously bad. People wont judge you for choosing an absolutely amazing side, but at the same time you'll get to experience the dramatic highs and lows. The obvious choice.
OPTIONAL - Spurs: Second-best choice. The hipster's team.
[ed] Also, by supporting Arsenal, you've picked a London-based team... so if you want to fly over for a token game, you don't have to breach the northern world of weird accents and towns named after cakes.