NYJetsFan.com Forums: Roger Goodell's Secret Relocation Plans - NYJetsFan.com Forums

Jump to content

Toggle shoutbox NYJETSFAN BANTER

ROBJETS Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:36 PM) If someone calls me an idiot or moron or stupid over a football debate it doesn't bother me in the slightest. But when you make things personal like with racist things or family crap its a whole different level
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:36 PM) I felt my FLiHi remark was as "harmless" as you did calling another person a Moron and stupid because they didn't agree with your opinion
ROBJETS Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:38 PM) my friends and I call each other morons and stupid an laugh at each other when we do something stupid like when we are drinking. It means nothing. and we laugh about it because its harmless. I'm trying to tell you this is a big difference between what you say to people and what others do.
ROBJETS Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:40 PM) Heck 115 rags me a lot and it doesnt bother me in the least. i rag him too. Same with GG2003 and SHJ. There is a difference between friendly banter and disagreements and crossing the line
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:44 PM) So your opinion of the line is right and my opinion is wrong? Is that what your saying? I don't know you. I'm not a drinking buddy of yours. Maybe you should learn some social tact.
ROBJETS Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:47 PM) you felt it was harmless but you were the only one. Everyone else understood why I got was extremely offended about it the first time because you cross the line with what you say to people. Apparently you realized it enough to send me a long pm apologizing and having communication problems that get you in trouble sometimes. But now you cant understand the difference?
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:48 PM) I understand why. What I'm saying is if you take a jab people will jab back. Have you heard that saying " dont throw rocks when you live in a glass house?"
ROBJETS Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:49 PM) The way you understand things if I call you an idiot about not wanting to trade for a high end qb its no different from me disrespecting your family. Thats what Im getting from you. So the way you see things everything is equally personal
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:50 PM) From complete strangers on an Internet forum? Yes. Man up
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:51 PM) Nod the debate was if he is a "high end" player. I thought he was well above average but not worth a 6th overall pick
ROBJETS Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:55 PM) Not worth my time to even acknowledge anymore. Just going to ignore you like I do Mr. Jet. You have a lot of mental growing up to do.
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:57 PM) That's funny coming from a guy who went butt f*** crazy a couple hours ago
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:57 PM) Meanwhile you can't seem to respect that others opinions are different than yours
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 08:59 PM) You are emotionally weak. You went through some serious shit growing up and you can't adjust. You take it out on your keyboard.
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 09:00 PM) When someone challenges your immaturity you have a complete crazy freak out and act like a girl on her first period
azjetfan Icon : (15 April 2015 - 09:00 PM) Hence the "go wipe your pussy and man up comment
Mr_Jet Icon : (15 April 2015 - 10:16 PM) Please Rob, leave my name out of your little bitchfest.
ROBJETS Icon : (15 April 2015 - 11:46 PM) My bad. You have been respecting my request to you I had a while backI made to you by us not commenting to each other to keep peace between us. I was totally in the wrong for bringing your name up at all and into an argument with member that has issues. I got furious furious with a child. I should've just ignored him like I do the other immature kids on some game forums and sites I belong to. Wont happen again. My apologies for bringing your name into it Mr. Jet.
azjetfan Icon : (16 April 2015 - 07:04 AM) Dude.... Get back on your meds.
blk_orion Icon : (16 April 2015 - 07:47 AM) WTF? Really???
blk_orion Icon : (16 April 2015 - 07:48 AM) Now back to our regular scheduled program......
HarlemHxC814 Icon : (16 April 2015 - 08:08 AM) Lol that escalated quickly
azjetfan Icon : (16 April 2015 - 10:24 AM) Rex is chirping again.
azjetfan Icon : (16 April 2015 - 10:26 AM) He said he is going to try and kick the Shit out of the Jets
azjetfan Icon : (16 April 2015 - 10:26 AM) http://sports.yahoo....l8xBHNlYwNzcg--
azjetfan Icon : (16 April 2015 - 10:26 AM) I still like the guy. He's entertaining
Jetsfan115 Icon : (16 April 2015 - 01:25 PM) i miss rex. love his demeanor
Jetsfan115 Icon : (16 April 2015 - 01:26 PM) i'd be happy if he kicks the shit out of miami and NE every year
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (16 April 2015 - 09:56 PM) I
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (16 April 2015 - 09:56 PM) I'm excited for the new coaching staff
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (16 April 2015 - 09:56 PM) Rex wsa fun, but he was too much with the defense instead of the entire football team
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (16 April 2015 - 09:57 PM) also he didn't always hold players accountable. I think Bowles will make the team more disciplined.
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 02:50 AM) I don't have any faith in bowles
azjetfan Icon : (Yesterday, 08:15 AM) “San Diego Chargers will ultimately make a deal with the Tennessee Titans for the number two overall pick. As part of that trade, the Chargers will send the number 17 overall pick and Philip Rivers, just as a start, for the number two pick.”
azjetfan Icon : (Yesterday, 08:15 AM) Damn... Who called it? This guy.
azjetfan Icon : (Yesterday, 08:16 AM) http://national.sunt...s-mariota-trade
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 10:13 AM) So we would now lose out on maroita and rivers
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 10:13 AM) Ain't that super
Jetsfan115 Icon : (Yesterday, 01:39 PM) do we make a trade for AP?
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 02:41 PM) I believe the rivers stuff is all speculation
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (Yesterday, 03:38 PM) So a top ten qb and the 17th pick for the 2nd overall as a start? Makes sense
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (Yesterday, 03:39 PM) So Many smokescreens this time of year
Jetsfan115 Icon : (Yesterday, 04:08 PM) only 2 more weeks before we find out. draft day will be exciting
Jetsfan115 Icon : (Yesterday, 04:09 PM) my money is we'll take a pass rushing OLB
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (Yesterday, 08:08 PM) Yup, unless they trade up.
Resize Shouts Area

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

Roger Goodell's Secret Relocation Plans Some good humor

#1 User is offline   azjetfan Icon

  • D Coordinator
  • Icon
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 3,129
  • Joined: 30-March 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Cheese Land Baby
  • Interests:Football, golf, banking and home improvements

  • NFL Team:

Posted 07 August 2013 - 01:52 PM

http://www.sbnation....jaguars-raiders



Quote

You probably suspect that the NFL has private files describing several possible relocation scenarios -- teams in London, Los Angeles, Toronto and so on. That's just the tip of a very dark, detailed iceberg, as we've recently discovered. Below, for the first time anywhere, is Roger Goodell's working plan to relocate every single team off North America.



FOR OWNERSHIP EYES ONLY

Gentlemen,

As previously discussed at the opening party for Mr. Irsay's ill-advised kosher barbecue restaurant, "Bris-Ket," my office has begun to assemble provisional dispersion protocols for each franchise in the event of widespread natural disaster, foreign invasion or a prolonged labor holdout. Assigned locations are subject to change with the state of world affairs at any time. Naturally, I must stress the utmost need for this document to remain secret.

Respectfully,

R.S. Goodell, Commissioner

AFRICA

Cincinnati Bengals -> Kenya. Continued economic expansion and the national soccer team's tendency to run afoul of FIFA augur great opportunity for the NFL. Hard Knocks has already mentioned an entire episode centering around a thirsty Andrew Whitworth drinking 1/3 of Lake Victoria.

Jacksonville Jaguars -> East London, South Africa. Finance desk estimates the team would save $2-3 million on repurposed London Jaguars paraphernalia already printed and in storage.

New York Giants -> Madagascar. Research desk showed other markets would be a more natural fit, but this is Eli Manning's favorite movie.

Oakland Raiders -> Somalia. "Bloodthirsty, lawless and remorseless." These were the terms the Somali pirates used to describe Oakland's fanbase, but we have assured them this behavior can be toned down.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers -> Egypt. At the request of the Department of State, we have slotted the Bucs here in the hopes that ongoing political strife is replaced by a collective displeasure with Josh Freeman's play.

ASIA

Baltimore Ravens -> India. Coach Harbaugh the Elder assured our office that control of rival nuclear powers was the inevitable endgame to his sibling rivalry. We see no reason to interfere with destiny.

Chicago Bears -> Russia. Occam's razor, gentlemen.

Cleveland Browns -> North Korea. The regime's history of media fabrications means we are the closest we will ever be to a "BROWNS WIN SUPER BOWL" headline.

Denver Broncos -> Kazakhstan. Region where some of the first horses were domesticated by man; also have no existing Papa John's franchises in-country.

Green Bay Packers -> Israel. That first Lambeau Leap over the Wailing Wall will be part of the Sunday Night Football montage for years to come.

Pittsburgh Steelers -> South Korea. Markets desk predicts continued growth in this, the world's sixth-largest producer of steel. Also preserves rivalry with North Korea Browns.

San Francisco 49ers -> Pakistan. Coach Harbaugh the Younger concurred with his brother.

St. Louis Rams -> Japan. Legal desk has assured me that we are unlikely to be held liable for the mistaken belief on the part of the Japanese that Jeff Fisher is actually "Silver Tom Selleck."

AUSTRALIA

Seattle Seahawks -> Australia. An unusual clause in Pete Carroll's contract requires any relocation of the team to be to a "shirt-optional" region. Contingent on ensuring that "beast mode" does not refer to some bizarre Australian coital configuration.

EUROPE

Arizona Cardinals -> Spain. High unemployment rate means team will be able to try a different running back every week. It was also determined that Larry Fitzgerald deserved to have something good happen to him, for once.

Detroit Lions -> Greece. Bankruptcy jibes aside, media desk shows astoundingly positive test audience reaction to an untitled reality show centered around what happens when Matthew Stafford is the richest person in an entire country.

Houston Texans -> Poland. In every military simulation NATO ran, J.J. Watt was the only countermeasure that consistently prevented the occupation of Warsaw.

Indianapolis Colts -> Belgium. The world's only other mayonnaise-based economy.

New England Patriots -> Romania. Special request by Bill Belichick, who wants to spend more time with his 800-year-old family avoiding the sunlight and feeding on townsfolk.

New Orleans Saints -> France. If Pierre Thomas' parents had named him Pyotr, this could have been a different result. Thirty-five-hour work week also ensures there is no time to organize illegal bounties.

New York Jets -> Italy. The Italians love leaders who are brash, stout and sexually deviant, so Prime Minister Rex Ryan is a real possibility. Economics desk also determined that Mark Sanchez's skill set fits country's traditional industry, Men Standing Around In Suits With Nice Hair, perfectly.

Washington Redskins -> Great Britain. Marketing has assembled a separate planning document laying out a six-month campaign focused on Robert Griffin III, the Royal QB. Historical desk is looking into possible background sources of peerage for Mr. Griffin.

CENTRAL/SOUTH AMERICA

Atlanta Falcons -> Peru. Correcting public misperception that Colombia, and not her southerly neighbor, is still the world's largest cocaine producer will be priority one in our "Modern World of Coke" launch.

Dallas Cowboys -> Brazil. Office of the U.S. Ambassador to Brazil notified us that the country was in serious need of a leader with experience in constructing expensive venues that provide little or no benefit to surrounding communities, and Mr. Jones graciously conceded.

Miami Dolphins -> Argentina. A natural transition, as the team will still find itself enjoying good weather, vibrant culture, and a fanbase dotted with unextradited criminals.

Minnesota Vikings -> Nicaragua. Legal desk has learned that a clause of every contract signed by musical artist Prince is that the Vikings only be allowed to relocate to a country flying a flag that contains the color purple. While some owners have suggested this condition could be ignored in the event of Prince's death, we are unwilling to risk death at the hands of Undead Prince, sensual though it would be.

San Diego Chargers -> Easter Island, Chile. Chargers are in desperate need for help along the offensive line, so this move is made in the interest of parity.

YET TO BE PLACED

Carolina Panthers -> ?. We have yet to find a country willing to take in Jimmy Clausen.

Buffalo Bills -> ?. Ownership continues to reject several appealing options; we suspect they may be attempting to keep the team where it is in the event of a North American catastrophe in order to collect an insurance payout.

Kansas City Chiefs -> ?. Logistics desk cannot guarantee Andy Reid will bring the team to the airport in time to make their flight, especially if they're checking bags.

Tennessee Titans -> ?. Just keep forgetting to do this one. Commissioners are imperfect, at times.

RELOCATION NOT APPLICABLE

This office has compiled 1,733 doomsday scenarios which would require implementation of the above geographic redistribution. In all of them, the doomsday event was caused by the Philadelphia Eagles and/or their supporters.

Posted Image
0

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users