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Jets drop game vs packers MNf next
Jetsman05 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:45 PM) you want the NFL to say sorry and you want Morningwig canned. You're a clown
bleedsgreen Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:45 PM) Gotta give credit to greenbay. That's a good football team
Mr_Jet Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:46 PM) f*** an apology. It's not going to change anything in the standings which is what matters at the end of the season.
FlyHiJets Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:46 PM) definitely reminds me of AFC Championship in Denver
canuckfan Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:46 PM) marty ranks up there with bittfumble
canuckfan Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:47 PM) buttfumble
Mr_Jet Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:47 PM) The should have made sure he knew who was calling the time out. Hell Rex was on his right and Marty was on his left.
mgjetman Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:47 PM) Getting lazy with a minute 50 on the clock before half was the nail in the coffin.
Mr_Jet Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:48 PM) The ref
Mr_Jet Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:49 PM) There is plenty of blame to spread around. No team should lose a 17 point lead anyway.
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:50 PM) DUDS - Miliner and Marty
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:50 PM) BRUTAL LOSS
Mr_Jet Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:52 PM) I really don't blame Marty because it's the refs job to make sure he sees who is calling the timeout. Plus the ball had already been snapped before he even noticed somebody was calling a TO.
mgjetman Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:53 PM) Just gave that game away. WTH!!!
Mr_Jet Icon : (14 September 2014 - 06:54 PM) He didn't even blow the whistle until Geno already had dropped back to pass. The play was already well underway.
bleedsgreen Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:03 PM) I heard it when the ball was already in the air
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:05 PM) but it shouldn't of come down to that TO blunder
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:05 PM) we did give up a 18 point lead
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:05 PM) so we fucked up and lost
bleedsgreen Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:05 PM) True
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:05 PM) time to get ready for MNF
santana Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:09 PM) Well it sucks when you start to feel the jets are going to lose the game them selves
santana Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:09 PM) the Vick play worthless
santana Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:09 PM) that run on 3rd and 5 worthless
santana Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:09 PM) chris Johnson also I don't know what his numbers were but ivory seemed to be a better back
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:13 PM) Marty just picks the worse time to call those wildcat plays
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:13 PM) they are drive killers
ROBJETS Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:27 PM) Problem is the corners. We knew this before the start of the season. I was amazed at how well they did last week and the first half but eventually the weakness showed
ROBJETS Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:28 PM) The corner positions will be addressed next year. Technically we are still in a rebuilding phase.
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 07:39 PM) we did go toe to toe against a SB contender and we really shouldn't be heartbroken but if you call yourself a JETS fan and aren't a little pissed over a W that we had in our control then you need to go and hand in your JETS gear ... I'm looking at you 115
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 08:24 PM) 18 penalties in 2 games
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 08:25 PM) unacceptable
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 08:27 PM) Geno dropped from #1 to #28 in TOTAL QBR
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 09:10 PM) Cutler just got popped right in the chest
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 09:11 PM) that was a squared up right in the middle of the chest hit
ganggreen2003 Icon : (14 September 2014 - 09:13 PM) nice one handed catch by Marshall
MikeGangGree... Icon : (14 September 2014 - 10:06 PM) NFL rules state that only the head coach can call a timeout on the sidelines…

Except in Green Bay where anybody up to the third row can call a timeout.
MikeGangGree... Icon : (14 September 2014 - 10:06 PM) I love NFL memes
MikeGangGree... Icon : (14 September 2014 - 11:30 PM) Well I will be at the game next Monday night
MikeGangGree... Icon : (14 September 2014 - 11:30 PM) So I will be doing everything I can to help our team win!!
MikeGangGree... Icon : (Yesterday, 10:15 AM) 2nd year in a row we should be 2-0
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 12:17 PM) TIMEOUT!!
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 08:05 PM) SPIDER Y 2 BANANA
Jetsfan0099 Icon : (Yesterday, 08:44 PM) FIRE IDZIK
santana Icon : (Yesterday, 08:54 PM) Eagles need to START SANCHEZ abandon the foles ship
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Roger Goodell's Secret Relocation Plans Some good humor

#1 User is offline   azjetfan Icon

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 01:52 PM

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You probably suspect that the NFL has private files describing several possible relocation scenarios -- teams in London, Los Angeles, Toronto and so on. That's just the tip of a very dark, detailed iceberg, as we've recently discovered. Below, for the first time anywhere, is Roger Goodell's working plan to relocate every single team off North America.



FOR OWNERSHIP EYES ONLY

Gentlemen,

As previously discussed at the opening party for Mr. Irsay's ill-advised kosher barbecue restaurant, "Bris-Ket," my office has begun to assemble provisional dispersion protocols for each franchise in the event of widespread natural disaster, foreign invasion or a prolonged labor holdout. Assigned locations are subject to change with the state of world affairs at any time. Naturally, I must stress the utmost need for this document to remain secret.

Respectfully,

R.S. Goodell, Commissioner

AFRICA

Cincinnati Bengals -> Kenya. Continued economic expansion and the national soccer team's tendency to run afoul of FIFA augur great opportunity for the NFL. Hard Knocks has already mentioned an entire episode centering around a thirsty Andrew Whitworth drinking 1/3 of Lake Victoria.

Jacksonville Jaguars -> East London, South Africa. Finance desk estimates the team would save $2-3 million on repurposed London Jaguars paraphernalia already printed and in storage.

New York Giants -> Madagascar. Research desk showed other markets would be a more natural fit, but this is Eli Manning's favorite movie.

Oakland Raiders -> Somalia. "Bloodthirsty, lawless and remorseless." These were the terms the Somali pirates used to describe Oakland's fanbase, but we have assured them this behavior can be toned down.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers -> Egypt. At the request of the Department of State, we have slotted the Bucs here in the hopes that ongoing political strife is replaced by a collective displeasure with Josh Freeman's play.

ASIA

Baltimore Ravens -> India. Coach Harbaugh the Elder assured our office that control of rival nuclear powers was the inevitable endgame to his sibling rivalry. We see no reason to interfere with destiny.

Chicago Bears -> Russia. Occam's razor, gentlemen.

Cleveland Browns -> North Korea. The regime's history of media fabrications means we are the closest we will ever be to a "BROWNS WIN SUPER BOWL" headline.

Denver Broncos -> Kazakhstan. Region where some of the first horses were domesticated by man; also have no existing Papa John's franchises in-country.

Green Bay Packers -> Israel. That first Lambeau Leap over the Wailing Wall will be part of the Sunday Night Football montage for years to come.

Pittsburgh Steelers -> South Korea. Markets desk predicts continued growth in this, the world's sixth-largest producer of steel. Also preserves rivalry with North Korea Browns.

San Francisco 49ers -> Pakistan. Coach Harbaugh the Younger concurred with his brother.

St. Louis Rams -> Japan. Legal desk has assured me that we are unlikely to be held liable for the mistaken belief on the part of the Japanese that Jeff Fisher is actually "Silver Tom Selleck."

AUSTRALIA

Seattle Seahawks -> Australia. An unusual clause in Pete Carroll's contract requires any relocation of the team to be to a "shirt-optional" region. Contingent on ensuring that "beast mode" does not refer to some bizarre Australian coital configuration.

EUROPE

Arizona Cardinals -> Spain. High unemployment rate means team will be able to try a different running back every week. It was also determined that Larry Fitzgerald deserved to have something good happen to him, for once.

Detroit Lions -> Greece. Bankruptcy jibes aside, media desk shows astoundingly positive test audience reaction to an untitled reality show centered around what happens when Matthew Stafford is the richest person in an entire country.

Houston Texans -> Poland. In every military simulation NATO ran, J.J. Watt was the only countermeasure that consistently prevented the occupation of Warsaw.

Indianapolis Colts -> Belgium. The world's only other mayonnaise-based economy.

New England Patriots -> Romania. Special request by Bill Belichick, who wants to spend more time with his 800-year-old family avoiding the sunlight and feeding on townsfolk.

New Orleans Saints -> France. If Pierre Thomas' parents had named him Pyotr, this could have been a different result. Thirty-five-hour work week also ensures there is no time to organize illegal bounties.

New York Jets -> Italy. The Italians love leaders who are brash, stout and sexually deviant, so Prime Minister Rex Ryan is a real possibility. Economics desk also determined that Mark Sanchez's skill set fits country's traditional industry, Men Standing Around In Suits With Nice Hair, perfectly.

Washington Redskins -> Great Britain. Marketing has assembled a separate planning document laying out a six-month campaign focused on Robert Griffin III, the Royal QB. Historical desk is looking into possible background sources of peerage for Mr. Griffin.

CENTRAL/SOUTH AMERICA

Atlanta Falcons -> Peru. Correcting public misperception that Colombia, and not her southerly neighbor, is still the world's largest cocaine producer will be priority one in our "Modern World of Coke" launch.

Dallas Cowboys -> Brazil. Office of the U.S. Ambassador to Brazil notified us that the country was in serious need of a leader with experience in constructing expensive venues that provide little or no benefit to surrounding communities, and Mr. Jones graciously conceded.

Miami Dolphins -> Argentina. A natural transition, as the team will still find itself enjoying good weather, vibrant culture, and a fanbase dotted with unextradited criminals.

Minnesota Vikings -> Nicaragua. Legal desk has learned that a clause of every contract signed by musical artist Prince is that the Vikings only be allowed to relocate to a country flying a flag that contains the color purple. While some owners have suggested this condition could be ignored in the event of Prince's death, we are unwilling to risk death at the hands of Undead Prince, sensual though it would be.

San Diego Chargers -> Easter Island, Chile. Chargers are in desperate need for help along the offensive line, so this move is made in the interest of parity.

YET TO BE PLACED

Carolina Panthers -> ?. We have yet to find a country willing to take in Jimmy Clausen.

Buffalo Bills -> ?. Ownership continues to reject several appealing options; we suspect they may be attempting to keep the team where it is in the event of a North American catastrophe in order to collect an insurance payout.

Kansas City Chiefs -> ?. Logistics desk cannot guarantee Andy Reid will bring the team to the airport in time to make their flight, especially if they're checking bags.

Tennessee Titans -> ?. Just keep forgetting to do this one. Commissioners are imperfect, at times.

RELOCATION NOT APPLICABLE

This office has compiled 1,733 doomsday scenarios which would require implementation of the above geographic redistribution. In all of them, the doomsday event was caused by the Philadelphia Eagles and/or their supporters.

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